02 October 2015

One day at a time

Everything in my life right now is focused on an event that is coming in the future ... but we don't know when.
Be the Match gives the above timeline for the transplant process.
I'm waiting for a bone marrow transplant
It will be amazing and incredible. Someone, likely a stranger, will generously and selflessly give me a chance to kick cancer to the curb. I'll get to start over with a brand new immune system (one that doesn't have any cancer cells). 
The transplant team says they are hoping for November procedure. But we don't have a definite date and won't have a definite date until a donor is finalized. 
And, it could take months to get my donor finalized. There are tests involved and matching that needs to be done. 
So, until we have a date set for my transplant, my doctors are watching me closely and trying to keep the leukemia in remission.
I finished up another week of consolidation chemotherapy today. I'll likely get another round of treatment in 3 weeks - sooner if my labs go downhill.
It's hard - no, it's impossible - to plan for this transplant.  I'm finding myself getting frustrated. How do I prepare for something if I don't know when it will be? Or how long it will last? Will it be over Thanksgiving? What about Christmas? Will the kids still be in school or will they be on break? Who is going to do the Christmas shopping? Will I be away from the house - living in Richmond - for the entire month of December?
I'm kind of a planner and this non-planning stuff is driving me nuts.
Talk about being forced to live in the moment.
This damn cancer is forcing me to be still and take things one day at a time.
Philippians 4:6 says
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Feels like He's talking to me. Telling me to be still, take care of myself and let Him worry about the details.

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