I remember standing next to my mother, I was maybe 11, and hearing a stranger ask this question to my mommy.
|Eleanor and Ralph, my awesome parents, on my Gotcha Day.|
It was then the question came.
"Are you going to have any of your own real children?"I sank. Pretended not to hear.
My mom, however, smiled sweetly. And then totally let the woman have it.
"Does my daughter not look 'real' to you?"She continued on. I don't remember exactly what was said. But I do remember smiling and feeling proud of my mom as she blasted this ignorant soul. It was glorious.
I have always known I was adopted. And I have never been ashamed of being adopted.
I have an older brother (from my mom's first marriage) and a younger sister who were not adopted. There were many miscarriages before they made the decision to adopt. It was a difficult process for them - financially and emotionally.
Throughout my life I've heard all sorts of comments from people. Most are made out of ignorance.
The next time you encounter an adoptive family, don't say these things ...
1. How can you love her as much as your other kids?
2. Are you going to have any of your own real children?
We already talked about this one.
3. You two look like you could really be sisters.
First of all, God's funny like that. Second of all, we are really sisters.
4. Do you know the parents?
Uh, we're the parents.
5. Aren't you afraid she'll find out she's adopted?
She knows she's adopted. Why would we keep that a secret?
Are you in an adoptive family? What's the worst thing someone has said to you?