Out of control

It's finally happened.
The moment of parenting we've been working toward since day one.
Six of our 7 children are now living on their own. As in, not home with me. Not right down the hall. I feel like I am un-tethered.

Out of control. 

That I can't keep all my plates spinning, up in the air.  

Like I've got no purpose. 

That I'm wandering ... Aimlessly. And no one would notice if I teetered off the edge.  

I don't know why I feel that no one would notice. Based on all the comments and notes and prayers, lots of people would notice.

I feel loved.
But isolated.

Time is moving slowly. Not being marked by any significant event. 

I have a paltry "to do" list littered with insignificant items, at best, because The Caregiver and my doctors don't want me to push too hard and relapse. That could land me in bed for days.

Sitting still is hard.

Exodus 14:14 says to "Be Still."

Easier said than done.